Good morning, dear Friday reader.
I have changed the day of my Substack email to you.
It is a joy for me to spend time writing these posts, and to continue to feel that joy and connection. I made the decision to honor that instead of being stubborn and trying to quickly and stressfully write to you on a Wednesday after work.
I have told you before about the post it note on the bottom right hand side of my computer screen.
“Keep searching for things I love”.
I have added to another post it note to the bottom left hand side of my computer screen.
“You have to become obsessed”
You know what I am obsessed with?
Questions.
This week in my new job was the “official” start of the role. Day one and my new email box is full of tasks that have become mine. I sat with them, I did what I could and then crafted an email with similar energy in how I write to you.
With honesty, vulnerability and courage.
The lady I reached out to is an expert in her job, she is a couple of levels above me, located at my old workplace and I could feel from the few short, abrupt emails from her; she takes no shit.
I love people like her, they are always honest and up front.
So, I sent the email. It was along the lines of:
Hi…
Dr… has given me these…..here is what I am up to. They are not complete; can I please get some guidance from you? Or can you direct me to who I need to speak to, or where I need to find the information.
This is my first day in this role, it is a new position. I have the job of creating the foundations for it, and I want to get this process right the first time. I have 20+years of (and I gave her the location and my old job title) I put in a few laughing emoji’s I can run circles around anyone (in my old job location) but all this is new to me. I won’t apologize for asking, emailing or calling you with many questions because I know when I train someone new, I would prefer them ask questions than make mistakes and then make me want to murder them.
There was more to it, but you get the idea. I hit send, went a made a bad hospital coffee and was bloody proud I had sent such an uncomfortable email.
Not even 10 minutes later, my desk phone rang.
I answered and she laughed and said we are going to get on fine, this is how you finish what you have started……you have done a great job so far.
Lessons learnt:
Ask the questions, be uncomfortable doing it if I have to, know and hold to my values, be honest.
Jack text me on Monday morning at 9.30am – I exhaled for the first time in 9 days.
“I have just landed in Brisbane”. (my last note to you was about my child travelling internationally)
My first instinct when I was within grabbing distance of him on Monday afternoon was to ask 1 million rapid fire questions. I know he would have been frustrated and overwhelmed, but I wanted to know everything, my nervous system was still fried from when he messaged me to say he was being held at the airport.
I asked one:
How was your flight home?
He sat at our kitchen table while I prepared dinner and told me all about his holiday, most of my questions were answered.
Lesson learnt:
Don’t be selfish.
When the boys were at school they would get in the car, and I would ask them rapid fire questions.
How was your day?
What did you learn?
What happened at school?
I would usually be met with shrugs or grunts.
I learnt that boys need to be moving or not looking directly at you when asking these types of questions. AND to be super specific.
Who did you sit next to in your learning period? (my boys are Montessori educated)
Who did you have lunch with?
What was your favorite subject to learn today?
Now it’s:
Are you working on the bulldozer or the digger today?
What are you building today?
The post it note on the bottom left hand corner of my computer screen is a reminder to be thoughtful, kind, honest and courageous when asking questions. Questions have always been a favorite thing of mine, because I am interested, I want to learn, I want answers, I want clarity, I want connections, and deep conversations.
Have a beautiful day
Melinda
If you would like me to ask you some well placed, thoughtful, honest questions in a mentoring conversation, I hold these on a Friday(Australia time)
OFFER: BOOK A MENTORING CONVERSATION BEFORE 1ST SEPTEMBER AND RECEIVE ONE FREE. (The session can be taken at any time)
Beautiful ❤️